Unstoppable!!

I do not open up to a lot of people about what I am going through. Sometimes I make jokes to hide the pain. Sometimes I have to resist the urge to scream when everything seems to be going wrong. I was hesitant about starting a blog on a 'sad' note, but I am tired of not being 'real.' A neighbor and I had a talk about it. We hide behind our 'I'm fines' and 'Life is great' and this year, for me..has not been. Through a lot of illness and the ponderings of many 'specialists' on how to fix things, I have struggled with emotions. What was something physical turned to mental, turned to I can't do it..
BUT..then, at my deepest, darkest moment, I finally realized my soul can be unstoppable. Me, myself..I am the only one who can change my way of thinking. I can Stop worrying what others think of me, stop wondering why I am such a nerd, stop thinking the others hold the answers to my true happiness.

I figured I was a really stubborn soul in Heaven..so I thought, maybe I can turn this stubborness into something positive. Am I where I want to be? Not. At. All. Can I start letting go and letting God? Yes. I do not know exactly how. I do know if I never get better or if I have to continue alone, I will. I truly believe my soul is unstoppable and can figure this out. I met two wonderful people that I would have never met if not for the trials this year. For the first time, I see a new way. Not 'the way everyone else does it'..the way that is right for me. There is still a tinge of embarrassment in sending this out..who will read it, who will judge it, who will wonder why she is being negative about her life..but my soul knows I am simply being true, and those that love me for me, will truly love me and follow me on this journey of healing (I said follow, not stalk Cindy). ;0)

Overall, I hope to make people feel inspired and laugh. I do not want my posts to be all serious, because that is not me. But I wanted to get this out of the way. I love to feel inspired by photos and music, so I hope to share that with you. Whatever you are going through..whether it be big or small..please remember, You. Are. Unstoppable.

Love, Rach-ellie.

Now, on to the fun..:D